That Moment...

     Going through that moment when missing that person you love is ever present, but realizing that it's a lost cause. I can't go back there. Not again. My heart wishes all things were restored, but my reality tells me that "restore" is not even the right word for it. How can you restore something that was by far incomplete to begin with? Without YESHUA in the center of our home, on his part... it was like walking on eggshells. The misery lived during the last several months was simply unbearable and I as much as my heart feels, need to forget there is even an email address, and simply close this chapter for good.

 Silence speaks a thousand words, and when a person gives you silence it's only because he is playing the "control" card. The "let me see how much you suffer" card. Stupid me for even sharing my heart. No. It's wrong. It just is.

 My life is falling into place once again, and I keep seeing G-d's blessings left and right and to go back to that... uff...would be to throw all my new blessings away. How can someone who is perpetually unhappy and bitter make me and my kids happy? That's a lot of baggage my kids and I were not meant to carry because it was not ours to begin with.

 He needs to sort his life.
 In love I forgive him. I really do. My kids do too.
 I however, must set a high standard for my children and walk away from this man for good.

 A new future awaits that doesn't necessarily involve being in a relationship, but like a really good friend told me a few weeks ago... "One must never say never, because G-d's will can surprise us when we least expect it." I, of course, dismissed those words because I am far from even considering such a thing, but then again... G-d has indeed surprised me more than once in my life with that which I expected the least, so we'll see.

 Right now I bid you all goodnight. I haven't been feeling well. There's a bug going around and now that it's done with my kids, it has officially found me. My right ear is aching like crazy.
It's been a busy day and another busy day awaits tomorrow.
That's a good thing, but only if I start feeling better tomorrow.
Lailah Tov

This Calls for Wisdom

I will make this simple for those of you who preached this to me when I was a child, and now have CHOSEN to forget or disregard out of pride or perhaps fear for losing what you THINK that you need.
Allow me to remind you that GOD Himself is our PROVIDER, especially during the harsh days to come.

What the Bible said would happen:

He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name.

This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666.

Revelation 13:16 to 18

A third angel followed them and said in a loud voice: "If anyone worships the beast and his image and receives his mark on the forehead or on the hand, he, too, will drink of the wine of God's fury, which has been poured full strength into the cup of his wrath. He will be tormented with burning sulfur in the presence of the holy angels and of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment rises for ever and ever. There is no rest day or night for those who worship the beast and his image, or for anyone who receives the mark of his name."

Revelation 14:9 to 11

This calls for patient endurance on the part of the saints who obey God's commandments and remain faithful to Jesus.

Revelation 14:12

WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW:

Just a Couple of Facts

So elections are over and Barack Obama has won again.
What I really want to say is that ignorance has won.
When people only watch what the media feeds them and disregard hard facts, they tend to vote for what they think they need... and for what they "think" they're going to get.

People even think that they voted for the president when in fact they really didn't.

FACT 1 : The vast majority of people DO NOT choose the President; the electoral college does. Even if the President won the popular vote by a HAIR this time around, one has to wonder about all those absentee ballots that are still out there and will take at least ten days to process. This system is antiquated and needs to  be changed!

FACT 2 : People who are uninsured THINK that they will get free healthcare. Nope. They still have to pay for it and it's not going to be what they expect.
You see, doctors are not all rich snobs who choose to become doctors to get rich. Most had parents who worked hard to put them through college, and most work their way through college to pay for their education. Most are still paying their student loans and ALL of them have to cover overhead costs such as
STAFF : nurses, front desk clerks, insurance clerks, maintenance etc.
BASIC EXPENSES: office rental, electricity, water use, equipment, materials, in office medications, oxygen etc.
OTHER COSTS: Taxes, Insurance, etc.
So when government insurances do not pay the doctor for the services they render to these patients, and the doctors realize that they are literally going bankrupt because of this, they stop taking patients who depend on government insurance.
Two years ago I lived this horror with my daughter. She suffers from really bad hemorrhagic cysts (and tumors) in her ovaries and she needed to be hospitalized right away for a terrible pain. The doctor who tended to her (Dr. Snook, from an OBGYN office in Orlando) dismissed her case at the hospital and literally sent us home without treating Claudia.
After putting my foot down and requesting a second opinion, an internist who had nothing to do with GYN issues decided to do an exploratory surgery. As it turns out, Claudia's tumor was the size of a grapefruit and it had caused a torsion to one of her fallopian tubes causing the stop of blood flow to one of her ovaries. Not only that, but she would have bled to death had it bursted.
It was so serious that they thought that my daughter, who at the time was only 11, would need one of her ovaries removed.
I was simply confused. How could a specialist know less than the hospital internist? Dr. Snook was forced to perform the surgery alongside this other doctor, but when it came time to do a follow up in her office, Dr. Snook made it very clear that it would just be a COURTESY visit because she did not accept medicaid patients.
That's when the light bulb went on and I realized that the reason she was sending Claudia home the first time around as sick as she was, was simply because she knew that Claudia was on emergency medicaid. I was in between teaching jobs and uninsured.
I was furious!

With Obamacare, medical offices will be over saturated with patients that the government cannot really afford. Doctors will be forced to no longer accept former patients in order to keep their overhead costs and the quality of healthcare for those with private insurance. Doctors who decide to take Obamacare patients will not provide the quality of healthcare that is needed and going to extremes here.. in a few years we might see what we see in socialist countries. We might see a nurse performing an appendectomy. We might see old people dying sooner because of the lack of good medical care.
My daughter was only 11 when she went through this.
I can only imagine what will happen to people like my parents.

A friend of a friend posted this on Facebook, "I didn't think that Mitt Romney was the hero who would save us all, but I thought he might slow the bleeding..."
That is exactly how I feel.
People I love voted wrong because they thought they would be voting for a liar if they voted for Mitt Romney.
Well... I have never known a President in my 41 years who didn't lie during a campaign, including this one.

Here. Educate yourselves.







Now on to FACT 3:

Now that we know for sure that this country will decline faster than we expected... it's time to prepare spiritually.
Revival is coming to the land.
It's coming and we have known that it was coming since we were kids and heard about it during evangelical campaigns and even during those times when G-d spoke to us directly to tell us that we were called for something important.
Well... this is it.
Our job now is set before us to be light in the midst of darkness.
To be strong in faith and to not let ANYONE deviate or lure us away from what we know is right.
Let's preach Yeshua with all of our hearts!
Let us NEVER deny His Name in exchange for ANYTHING.

NEVER.
I just lost my husband to standing firm.
I might get my head cut off for it too.

We were called to serve Him and to not waiver.
Lately I have been seeing loved ones waiver left and right.
They are afraid of losing "benefits" ... and I just know that this is one easy way for Satan to corner them and give them no choice of thought. Many will deny the truth of Yeshua out of fear.

Let's stay strong for we serve a HOLY G-d.

Loom Knitting and Fruity Tea Time

Ahhh... I hadn't been this relaxed in ages.

A bit of knitting, some tea, a bit of editing... yes.
My life is officially back to a really cozy and happy normal. :) 

The kids agree. 

We also did groceries and we couldn't stay away from the cheese! LOL! 

We've had brie, fettuccine alfredo, Olive Garden style mushrooms with lots of romano and mozzarella, lasagna... I mean... for a  year we felt so restricted because of a certain's person so called aversion. 

Just because I don't like something, I shouldn't  keep others from it. 

In love we abstained in order to keep him from gagging or eating his meals in a separate room. 

This past week we ate cheesy foods almost every day! LOL

Yeah.
We're good and it's only going to get better with G-d's amazing help. 

:)

2 Nights for Israel

Claudia with the amazing Israel Cohen during the "2 Nights for Israel" event!
We were so incredibly blessed!
Totally preparing for our trip!

Like Israel Cohen said last night, "Making aliyah is not optional. It's an OBLIGATION!"

2 Nights for Israel Tomorrow!

I can't wait.

I am going to meet some really special people like Israel Cohen and Batya Ruth Wooten! :)
I'll be doing the panel's photos tomorrow.

Wow.
Claudia, Ricardo and I are on our way...

So happy.

Rejection is G-d's protection.

Yup.
It's a new start.
Brand new.

:)

Thank YOU Heavenly Abba

Well... it is October 17, 2012 and I am back on track!
YES!
Thank you Heavenly Abba!

Individual bank account... check!

Individual car insurance... check!

An amazing support group packed with strong believers via Abba Worldwide Ministries... check!

A purpose once more... check!

Had an amazing time with the leaders of Abba Worldwide Ministries last night. We worked to achieve some goals towards the coming events and the meeting was quite productive.

Very happy with the outcome.
Very grateful for their love and support.

Thank YOU HaShem for literally sending them my way when I needed them most.

Thank You Abba!

I love YOU!

Just Saying...

Right now I'm homeschooling while trying to prepare some image drafts for the "Two Nights for Israel" event and my mind is slowly gathering ideas.
It will be a busy day and a busy evening for me, but that is good. Someone is picking me up this afternoon and although they offered for me to spend the night at their house, I'm still thinking about it. If it's an inconvenience for that person to drive me home late at night then I guess I'll stay, but it's just really uncomfortable for me. 

I'm also preparing to interview with a videographer who is in need of a photographer for his wedding events.
Let's see how that goes.

Ricardo took his English Unit test and got a 92%. Super happy for him.
Claudia is struggling with her math but is actually getting really good grades.

Although I've allowed a bit of anger to get to me about things I am having difficulty recovering from, I know that this too shall pass. It's not easy to start over. Being a single mommy always makes things a bit more difficult,so if you are out there reading this and are considering joining accounts and insurance with a brand new spouse... DON'T DO IT!

If the relationship ends they will walk out of your life like nothing ever happened and you will be left with NOTHING except what's in your pockets. What was once yours from years of hard work prior to getting married... gone for good.

Is it getting better?
It will eventually.

Then there will be the very mean hearted people who will dare say, "I knew it. See? I knew that was going to happen!"
There will also be the EVIL gossip mongers who will make phone calls to even worst gossip mongers who claim to love G-d and be true Christians (but who in reality are nothing other than "churchians") and will spread the word of my misfortune and claim it as an act of G-d for being unequally yoked to a man of a different faith.

Well, to all the gossip mongers who secretly delight in the misfortunes of others instead of praying for them, I have this to say...

If Yeshua were here in flesh and blood... He would surely come to my house and give me the biggest hug and tell me that everything will be ok. He would also hug my kids and overflow my home with reminders of all His promises for us.

Since you are not like Him  (Yeshua) AT ALL... consider yourself as LIMITED as your lack of love for others and as your lack of integrity for all things spiritual. I assure you that G-d knows this truth about you regardless of how hard you try to hide it so that others can't see it. Keep telling yourself that you are soooo good and so honorable.
Yeah.
Keep telling yourself that.

Sincerely,
Rose

Time Travel

Does it exist?
Yes.
Albert Einstein was close to "re-discovering" this old and ancient truth.

It's not anti-biblical at all.
You see... in order to predict the future you have to be able to see it first.
The Bible is packed with prophecies that have already come to pass.
In G-d (our Prime Creator) there is no time and space.

2 Peter 3:8
But beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the l-rd as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.

Do I believe in the plurality of worlds? Yes.
In order for time travel to be possible, you need to understand how the concept of a parallel universe works.
A bit of physics, shall we?

Hang on... my son needs help with his English class.
BRB.

OK. So where were we? Ahhh yes. Parallel universes. Yes... I said that in plural because there is more than one. Science has known that for quite some time now. Even our forefathers believed in it. That's a whole other thing there... but I'm not talking aliens here.
There are no aliens. We're the aliens. LOL
What does exist are "multi dimensional beings" or as some of us prefer to call them "extra dimensional beings."

Do we have a multi dimensional G-d? Yes. He is multi dimensional but so are we. The humans of the here and now do not understand this concept because they have been deprived of it for some time now. That part of how we were originally designed is in hiatus, for lack of a better term. Hence the story of Adam and Eve... blah blah blah... no longer in the garden of Eden... blah blah blah.
The point is that we are only allowed to "perceive" up to the third dimension. Only animals and babies perceive up to the fourth. There are 11 dimensions in total. Can you get your head around that?
I didn't think so.

For those of you still confused about how dimensions work... here is a great video I found on YouTube.

Part 1 of 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkxieS-6WuA

Part 2 of 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=fvwp&NR=1&v=ySBaYMESb8o

I know that this only explains up to the 10th... but there's 11 in total. Trust me.

So here is the bottom line. There are other "realities" or "dimensions" that co-exist parallel to our own and what people think are aliens are just beings from those other dimensions.
Some people call them angels and some call them demons and in many cases it's neither of those. Just people like you and me who have the technology to travel from one dimension to the other in order to warn us about or alter our existing reality.

Still with me?
Hmmm... need a bit of help?

Ok.
Imagine that you walk into a gym. There are mirrors everywhere. When you look to one side you see the reflection of yourself, but since there is a mirror on the opposite side of the room you see an image inside that image, inside another image... all the way into infinity.
Well... there is your visual on parallel universes. Time travel is nothing but a step forward or a step back into one of those.... give or take a 1 to 2 percent divergence.
The farther into the past or the future you travel, the larger the divergence is.

Am I crazy.
No.
You all are for allowing yourselves the hypnotic slavery of what you know as media.
You are slaves to it. You are entertained and so incredibly distracted that you fail to connect with the true source of your existence...
G-d.

He tries to speak to us all the time. He tries to warn us of things to come. He tries to connect but we are so disconnected from Him and connected to everything else that we no longer have the ability to tune into our own Creator.

Why the book of Enoch did not make it into the Bible is beyond me.
All I can say is that perhaps if it had been included it would've gotten people to think a lot more about our TRUE origins. Anyways... Hollywood is packed with "travelers" who have attempted unsuccessfully to remind humanity about something they lost a long time ago.

Not everything that is labeled as Science Fiction in Hollywood is fiction at all.

Lunch time. Will explain the simplicity of time travel a bit later.
Hint...
Do you know that we can actually create a black hole? That there is a curvature in black holes that prevents a human being from being torn apart by its gravitational force?
Did you know that science in the here and now has already discovered this?
LOL

You didn't know because you are way too entertained to know.

Are you aware that the reason they just had someone skydive from the edge of space to test a "suit" is REALLY because the closest they can get to the g force of a black hole is the stratosphere?
Are you paying attention now?

Good. About time. TTYL.

Silence

If I could just tell people out there... shhhhhh... a bit of silence so that I can truly appreciate who you really are and not who you say you are.

Yeah.

Being married meant the most precious yet simple things to me...

It meant carrying the title of Mrs. instead of Ms.

It meant that my kids had someone to call "dad'. Something they had never experienced before.

So many new things I hadn't experienced before either.

Then in comes that cruel letter from that stupid woman who hates me for no reason at all.

In it she tells me how I've been shortchanged and that's what happens to single moms. That women who bow down to a man (meaning Jesus) are in idolatry and should never attempt marriage with a true Jewish man.
How she knew he would walk out because we didn't believe the same and "who the heck would want to stick around a woman who limps" and can't stand straight to walk anyways.

Yeah.
I wish I had her in front of me to throw it right back at her. HARD.
Then again, who cares?

That is all I keep hearing in my head.
Who cares that this hurts so much? Who cares?
It's as though I am being forced to get over it FAST because crying and feeling depressed is SELFISH and life goes on.

SHUT UP!

I want silence.
I want silence and I want it now.

My faith is solid.
I believe in Yeshua.
That's his name.

I may not be married anymore and I WILL NEVER again go there... heck no. WAITED YEARS to open my heart to someone and this pain was SO NOT worth it.

So now that you have "rejoiced" with my pain. Leave me alone and go to hell.

Really.
I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
Because I am not perfect.
I am real.
I am not a fake.
I am real.
Real people have the right to say it like they feel it once in a while.

Thank you.

Virmana

They discovered a virmana in Afghanistan.
I knew they had existed.
I have seen them hundreds of times in my mind.

I know exactly what they look like and how they work.
I could redesign one from start to finish because I remember how.

Yeah.
Odd girl out. I know.
The story of my life.

In the here and today I am just  (once more) a single mom.
Love being a mommy.
Wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

People have no idea how much more technological this earth once was. That people could literally fly with a simple thought.
That airplanes existed wayyyy before the Wright brothers.
That space travel was so incredibly simple.

This civilization is nothing but a weak replica of one that existed more than 20,000 years ago.

To Do List

Today my goals are to:

Clean this room and make it look like new.
Do laundry. ALL of it.

Buy ink for the printer. MUST buy ink for the printer. Ricardo and Claudia have an intense array of paperwork to send out.

Homeschool the kiddos.

Go to the gym. :)

Lunch?
Chicken sandwiches.

Dinner?
A salad for me. Tuna casserole for the kids.

Yup. I am on my way. :)

It's Wednesday but I have no idea what church group I'll be attending. Must call to find out.

Starting Over

I was thinking of starting a new journal. One without the old pictures in it.
Then I thought... no. I'll continue my life on this one because for a year there I did not blog. Everything in my life stopped. It's as if I had ceased to exist so that a new thing would emerge... and that sort of did not happen either.
Happiness was there, but the entire package... the one that usually follows G-d's perfect will, wasn't there. I did my own will and did not wait for whatever else G-d might have had in mind.

I think that what He had in mind was for me to remain alone, all along.

I had waited more than ten years to open my heart to someone but things did not work out.
We were simply not believing the same.
We did not speak the same language when it came to G-d.

I know where my faith stands and it is in Yeshua HaMaschiach.
My soon to be ex husband does not believe like me.

So with a heavy heart I have to walk away from it all... not that I walked away first. He did.
When I say "walk away" it simply means to let it go.

Tonight is especially hard.
Before I started writing on here again I ended up reading my past on these same pages.
It hurt.
Yeah.
As I went "back in time" though, I realized how happy I truly was before all this. How truly happy and in love with my Savior I was more than a year ago.

Then I saw it.
I took a wrong turn somewhere.
Didn't wait.
I'm back again, you know... except that now I'm hurt and my kids are hurt so fixing is desperately needed.
We've come back shattered and although each day gets better, I would've done anything to keep my kids from the tears that followed this very sad ending.

Time to start over.
From scratch.
A new beginning.
Yeah.

It can be done in Yeshua's mighty name.
Amen

Super Bowl Excitement! Gooooo GIANTS!

It's only Friday, I know. Yet the excitement of the Super Bowl game totally makes me giddy already, although having to tidy up the apartment isn't as exciting! LOL!
I am not a typical "Susie Homemaker" but I am a homemaker... for the time being.

Ohhhhh GO GIANTS!

Can't wait!