I am going to close my Facebook account. Wow. I have tried to do this several times in the past and it has been really hard. That's not a good thing for sure.
After prayer this morning, I pondered on several things.
Would Yeshua have a Facebook account? I wondered.
Did he really need one?
Tee hee :o)
Nah. I'm sure He didn't.
Yeshua gathered the biggest network of followers ever known to man way before computers were ever invented.
Also, He was a true friend to those he came in contact with.
He was not just curious. He was not just browsing into other people's lives.
He was genuine, always.
Integrity. Truth. Simplicity. Love. Loyalty are the traits of a true friend.
My friends are my friends out in the open for everyone to see.
I don't hide my friends.
We are allowed to have differences and disagreements. We are permitted to be diverse and to think differently. That is how we help each other grow.
I don't have to like the things my friends like. They don't have to like mine.
When Yeshua gathered His twelve, ohhhh what a diverse group they were!
They couldn't have been more different, and Yeshua knew this. He chose them that way on purpose.
We each have a brain that works differently from someone else's so that in our ideas and disagreements we can enrich each other and also protect one another, for the danger that one cannot see at times is brought to light by a good friend.
My experiences in life have been many. I have seen injustices and truths. I have seen things that I did not like and that I have often walked away from. I have seen those who have wronged a friend and later deny that they did. I have seen lies. I have seen truths. I have seen sinners and saints and I have been a sinner, and still am to this day. A work in progress, I can look back at very bad choices and see great improvement as I have chosen to pursue Yeshua's light. So I am not who I used to be, but I am still not quite where I should be.
Nobody out there is.
That goal is unattainable until we are finally with our King. For even great men of G-d fall every single day, which makes people like me feel like we are not doing so bad after all in comparison.
Nobody else has my heart.
Nobody else out there has yours.
If my focus is to follow Yeshua and be by His side one day, then I seriously need to set all distractions aside as much as I possibly can.
When I think of Facebook, I think of a syringe that feeds us a boost of "temporary relief for loneliness" whenever we post something that someone out there likes.
All of a sudden, it's as if we are not alone in a car or in our room... or even at work. We hear our phone buzzing to a response, a wall post or a picture. Our thoughts otherwise invisible to others are suddenly read by a world of people, half of which we have not even met in person, or seen in years.
For a single mom like me, it feels good to stay in touch with people even when I know I'll get to see them later in the day. Without Facebook or MySpace (although I haven't had an account there for two years now), we feel disconnected. Unable to brag about our trips, kids, pictures... our world!
Before Facebook, our lives were private and unnoticed. Our thoughts and whereabouts a mystery to others.
Then I thought about Yeshua.
He went from place to place and made a huge amount of friends (and enemies too), but the way He did it did not require technology.
He would knock on people's door.
He would come in and dine with them.
He even told a short statured tax collector that He would dine with him.
He sensed a woman's faith through his garment in the midst of a thick crowd, and healed her.
He gave hope to a prostitute.
He fed a hungry crowd.
He touched the lives of others... literally.
I think about Cuba a lot.
Strange right?
At times I see myself there, feeding kids, sharing G-d's Word with other single moms, providing shelter to a girl who has chosen to prostitute herself in order to feed her family or buy herself a pair of jeans.
I don't see myself using a computer or watching television. There wouldn't be much time for that if I were busy doing what G-d has placed in my heart.
I would be knocking on people's door.
Dining with them or having them dine with me.
Helping a sick child or woman through an illness.
Giving hope to a prostitute.
Feeding the hungry.
Touching their lives... literally.
So if Yeshua knows what's in my heart, is He just waiting for me to give it all up so that the door opens?
I am nothing without Him and what I have, I have through His love and mercy. Even my children were His gift to me.
So right now I just want to let Him know that I'll trade Facebook, commodities, and all the comforts and distractions of this world to be able to do things the way He did.
At times I have wondered about the changes in my life. How certain events marred me to the point of changing my perspective. All of a sudden I knew and understood pain like I hadn't before. Unable to express my emotions, I had no outlet. I knew that what I felt inside was real, whether it was love or anger, or even joy... so when I wasn't getting throught to others, I knew that I was getting through to G-d. You see, G-d looked past my lack of expression and into my heart and He knew what was there. He still does when everyone else doesn't. It's been easy for me to have a relationship with Him, because I know that I don't have to fake a smile, a gesture... and because He is real, yet unseen, I don't have to struggle to figure Him out either.
Facebook? Facebook is great for people who know how they feel and can write it out, but can't articulate or show the world with their faces what's really in their hearts. I don't want this crutch in my life anymore.
I want to reach those who are not being reached. Not sure where that is...
but I know what it's like to be disconnected from the world until someone takes the time to knock on a door and come in, and sit with me, and talk with me and get to know ME instead of attempting to interpret me according to the gospel or "gossip" of someone else who really doesn't know what I'm about.
I've been ambushed into dying my hair, wearing make up, dressing up and out of my simple jeans and black t'shirts by people who would rather waste their time changing my outer appearance than getting to know my heart.
It was not easy to let down my guard. I've been hurt by people I've gotten close to. We all have been at some point or another, I think.
So back to my mission dreams...
I think of Cuba.
Who knows, right?
Dear L-rd,
All I can say is that my heart is willing, and my kids would be coming along for the ride.
Even my physical ailment can't keep me from giving You what's left of my life.
I love You HaShem.
I really do.
Yours,
Rose
